he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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