why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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