he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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