I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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