Duck Duck Cougar?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have tasted many bathrooms
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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