Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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