oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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