Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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