exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
