I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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