haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
