did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
