Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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