dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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