I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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