let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
