office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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