lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
