plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
