Me too!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
