you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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