we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
