found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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