Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
