Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
