I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
