but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
God I need to hump something, right now.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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