At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
