Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
