Just cropdusted the office
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
