..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
