I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
