So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
