i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
A+ Viking dick
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
