He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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