UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
