I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
