I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
