I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
