She said her name was "party"
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
