Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
