So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
