you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
