I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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