No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
