Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
