I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
