i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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