Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
