I wanna bring you to show and tell
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
